They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
