You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
