This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
