I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
