Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Found your dick twin last night
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
