So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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