worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
