i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
