Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
