dude i'm inner monologue high
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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