her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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