Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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