I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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