No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
