i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
