I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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