real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
