shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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