If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
