I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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