its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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