Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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