One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
