I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
