To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
