oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
