hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
