we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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