Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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