: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Randomize
