can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
