I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
