a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
