like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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