Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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