I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
