Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We are two peas in an std pod
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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