i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
