2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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