did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
