I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
