If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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