Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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