I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
