it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
