The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
