Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
