She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
