morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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