Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
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