ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
